“I was just a fool, a fool for you.”
(Source: turnthepaigeeee)
I have been thinking a lot these past couple of nights…
…mostly just where I stand in life.
College makes me unhappy, my family makes me unhappy, and, lately, my relationships with people make me unhappy.
I told my grandma this during dinner tonight. She just laughed and asked, “Well, what makes you happy?”
Now, a little back story, these past couple of years I have been having thoughts of traveling the world. This process of traveling will obviously not have me enrolled in school, and I had planned to stay for a maximum of a year in different countries. You know, pick up a couple things, like languages and culture practices, and to have a better grasp at life.
Now, back to present time. I told my grandma my dream. She laughed again and asked me, “Where will you go?”
I told her that a majority of the money that comes from my job has been saving up so that I could go to a different place, every summer. Last year I went to Canada to visit some relatives, and now, this year, I’m going up to California to visit some relatives. So I continued on to tell her that I would continue this tradition of visiting places where I have family first, and then traveling to areas where I will be alone. Some of these destinations include India, Africa, Central and South America, Europe, and the areas of Asia I have not been to yet. Basically, the whole world.
What my grandma had to say in comment to all of this was just a bunch of vulgar and racist bullshit (Why go to Europe? White people will be white people.). Her words weren’t meant to assault my dream, but to confirm that she was acknowledging and accepting it.
As I sit here typing this into the text box, I am seriously considering jump-starting on this dream in the next year and embark on my journey of self-fulfillment.
What do you guys think? Can I do it?
Blossom dearie- Someone to watch over me
Every fucking day.
I knew these next 3 months wouldn’t be easy, but it’s hitting me hard tonight. These past couple of days have just been filled with an eerie silence accompanied by the rumbling of my breathing. My vision is clouded. Not with cigarette smoke, but with your silhouettes and doppelgangers. Normally, you would classify this as insanity, but there are two things keeping me sane…
1.) I deserved this. I’m just paying for it.
2.) The mental images and audio recordings of our last conversation.
…
Oh, there’s a number three:
3.) You.
